Four percent.
Considering my ‘advanced maternal age’ and the length of my unborn son’s femurs, those were the odds of Parker being born with Down syndrome.
“Odds good enough to take to Vegas,” my OB tried to reassure me with.
I knew differently. I’d known it all along, which was why only Reed and I went to the five month ultrasound appointment, where I was certain we’d be given a heads up on the secret this little one inside of me had been hiding.
Several Level 2 Ultrasounds later, we told our other kids of the chance that their little brother would be born with Down Syndrome, or Trisomy 21. My kids were familiar with the term as the oldest ones had worked in school as Peer Tutors, each of them loving the experience.
It didn’t take long before my oldest son Brant came to me and said that all the kids had talked about it, and it didn’t matter to them if Parker had Down syndrome, they would love him and take care of him and always be there for them.*
I’ll forever remember that moment as one of my favorites.
My water broke six weeks early. As I walked into the birthing room I made it very clear that a baby with an extra chromosome was about to be born and I only wanted people who would truly welcome a baby with Down syndrome to attend me.
“He doesn’t have a Simian Crease,” one nurse told me. “He doesn’t look like he has Down syndrome,” another nurse said.
My OB asked me if I thought it looked as though Parker had Down syndrome. When I replied that I did indeed think Parker had Ds, the he pulled out a picture of his beautiful little girl. He told me she had Anglemen’s syndrome. Through tears he told me of the beauty and love she had brought into his life and how thankful he was to be her father.
It’s been almost eight years since Parker’s birth. We’ve been through ostomy bags, chronic lung disease, Pulmonary Hypertension levels so high he wasn’t expected to see the end of his first year, asthma, holes in his heart, ulcerative colitis, hearing loss, and other issues. He has a g-tube, trach and needs oxygen 24/7. I’ve lost count of the surgeries he’s been through.
Still we consider this littlest of Hodsons to be utterly perfect.
If only the world could see what we do. A kid more like theirs than not. Of course there are differences. Parker doesn’t talk. He learns at a slower pace than his typical peers. What comes naturally for most kids comes only after great effort for my son. Yet Parker loves to be included just like any other kid. He loves birthday parties, playing outside, any game that includes a ball, and watching sports with his Dad.
Kids with special needs and their families don’t want pity or platitudes.
They want acceptance. They want to be included in the community the same way other kids are. They want to play T-ball. Take dance classes. Sit next to their typical peers in typical classrooms. They want to be respected and to have the opportunity to contribute to society in their own unique ways.
Is that really too much to ask?
October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.
Encourage your child to make friends with the kid with Down syndrome, invite him to play dates and birthdays. Not only will my child’s life be enriched, so will yours.
Acceptance takes a village. The opportunity to set the standard is yours. With a simple act of acceptance you can change the world for the better. Parker, and countless kids just like him, are counting on you.
* It wouldn’t be until years later that I would learn that the divorce rate among families with a child who has Down syndrome is lower than the divorce rate among families with children with no identified disability. According to a study put out by Dr. Brian Skotko, among siblings ages 12 and older, 97% expressed feelings of pride about their brother/sister with DS and 88% were convinced they were better people because of their sibling with DS.
31 for 21: Down Syndrome Awareness Month,
Blogging about the life and times of One Brave Hero. Dedicated to sharing the beauty and value of a child with special needs.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and Parker's story (and I love the part about your children and what they said…). I also just have to say that Parker is so beautiful. I hate that you have to wish for basic acceptance for things many of us parents take for granted. I hope having this post here on Type-A helps in some small way to spread awareness.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and Parker’s story (and I love the part about your children and what they said…). I also just have to say that Parker is so beautiful. I hate that you have to wish for basic acceptance for things many of us parents take for granted. I hope having this post here on Type-A helps in some small way to spread awareness.
I know how tough it is to raise a child with Down Syndrome. I used to be a nanny for a family that had a Down Syndrome toddler. You are so right, when we went to the park, the kids there ignored him, and the ones that did pay attention to him, only asked questions about why he was "different." I applaud you for sharing your story and I agree with Kelby Hartson Carr, Parker is an adorable little boy!
We support the Mark10:14 program at Faith Lutheran by selling the kids note cards. They are really amazing. I'll bring you a pack for a "going away" present!
Thank you for sharing this. I didn't know October was National Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Your baby is adorable! The enthusiasm you captured in the photos is contagious. I love that your older kids had a private meeting to discuss the importance of loving the new baby no matter what. You're obviously raising incredible kids all around.
Thank you for sharing your story. We have a friend who had a child with Down Syndrome but they didn't know until birth. He is just such a special child, and I'm grateful we got to know him.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I used to volunteer as an older teen as a chaperone during field trips because I homeschooled and was available during the day time hours. It always amazed me how brave and cheerful these kids are. Now I know it's because their parents are so brave and loving as well. Your son is beautiful – love the super hero cape! My sons love their capes also!
I know how tough it is to raise a child with Down Syndrome. I used to be a nanny for a family that had a Down Syndrome toddler. You are so right, when we went to the park, the kids there ignored him, and the ones that did pay attention to him, only asked questions about why he was “different.” I applaud you for sharing your story and I agree with Kelby Hartson Carr, Parker is an adorable little boy!
We support the Mark10:14 program at Faith Lutheran by selling the kids note cards. They are really amazing. I’ll bring you a pack for a “going away” present!
Thank you for sharing this. I didn’t know October was National Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Your baby is adorable! The enthusiasm you captured in the photos is contagious. I love that your older kids had a private meeting to discuss the importance of loving the new baby no matter what. You’re obviously raising incredible kids all around.
Thank you for sharing your story. We have a friend who had a child with Down Syndrome but they didn’t know until birth. He is just such a special child, and I’m grateful we got to know him.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I used to volunteer as an older teen as a chaperone during field trips because I homeschooled and was available during the day time hours. It always amazed me how brave and cheerful these kids are. Now I know it’s because their parents are so brave and loving as well. Your son is beautiful – love the super hero cape! My sons love their capes also!
He is adorable and I love the story about your kids and their discussion. Totally heart warming.
He is adorable and I love the story about your kids and their discussion. Totally heart warming.
First, your son is seriously adorable! That smile! Thank you so much for sharing your story. With a son with special needs myself, it's important for the world to hear us. As parents, we have a voice. We are a voice for our children and a voice for other parents going through this and they know they aren't alone. HUGE hugs! You are a wonderful mom.
First, your son is seriously adorable! That smile! Thank you so much for sharing your story. With a son with special needs myself, it’s important for the world to hear us. As parents, we have a voice. We are a voice for our children and a voice for other parents going through this and they know they aren’t alone. HUGE hugs! You are a wonderful mom.
Pure and utter joy on his face. Life's unexpected surprises are the best lessons of all. Thank you for sharing your story.
Pure and utter joy on his face. Life’s unexpected surprises are the best lessons of all. Thank you for sharing your story.
I love this, thank you for sharing. Someone once told my son that another child was "a little different" than other kids and so it may take him a bit to want to talk with my son. My son looked at her and said "he isn't different, he is just a kid like me. I don't always want to talk either." A few weeks later my son started kindergarten and it turned out his class has children in ILC. I asked my son once if he ever talked to one of the little boys since they sat at his table. He said "yeah. Sometimes he cries, but mommy, he is so super funny." I wish I could say I taught my son that…but sometimes I think he teaches me. And I think you are saying things other parents often forget, or may be too afraid to ask. It was nice to read this and inspired me to maybe reach out and invite that little boy to our next party.
I love this, thank you for sharing. Someone once told my son that another child was “a little different” than other kids and so it may take him a bit to want to talk with my son. My son looked at her and said “he isn’t different, he is just a kid like me. I don’t always want to talk either.” A few weeks later my son started kindergarten and it turned out his class has children in ILC. I asked my son once if he ever talked to one of the little boys since they sat at his table. He said “yeah. Sometimes he cries, but mommy, he is so super funny.” I wish I could say I taught my son that…but sometimes I think he teaches me. And I think you are saying things other parents often forget, or may be too afraid to ask. It was nice to read this and inspired me to maybe reach out and invite that little boy to our next party.
[...] and I are over at Type A Parent today where we talk about Down syndrome. October is National Down Syndrome Awareness [...]
What delicious serendipity! I religiously read your blog about Parker and some of my favorite kids/students are children with Angelman Syndrome. I love the way you fight for your family and for your youngest child. Thanks for posting!
Lisa
What delicious serendipity! I religiously read your blog about Parker and some of my favorite kids/students are children with Angelman Syndrome. I love the way you fight for your family and for your youngest child. Thanks for posting!
Lisa
Enjoyed the post! I finally can say I thank the Lord for the extra chromosome He gave my son. I love the way bloggers are putting a face on Down syndrome, something the tests, stats and diagnoses don't do.
I like the world just a little better knowing Parker is in it.
Blessings,
Alyson
Enjoyed the post! I finally can say I thank the Lord for the extra chromosome He gave my son. I love the way bloggers are putting a face on Down syndrome, something the tests, stats and diagnoses don’t do.
I like the world just a little better knowing Parker is in it.
Blessings,
Alyson
LOVE Parker's smile. As always, you two give me so much hope. Love you!
LOVE Parker’s smile. As always, you two give me so much hope. Love you!
[...] personal perspective on raising a child with Down syndrome, and the importance of community, see this site. blog comments powered by Disqus [...]
What's so impressive is how your other kids responded – such a strong example of why awareness and education is important for everyone. Kudos to you and Reed for raising such great kids – all of them!
What’s so impressive is how your other kids responded – such a strong example of why awareness and education is important for everyone. Kudos to you and Reed for raising such great kids – all of them!