Co-Parenting: Think Before You React

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Co-parenting creates many challenges, not only are you not aware of everything that happens in the other parents home but now when you do find out it is through the mouth of your child. This situation leaves you hearing a child’s version of everything that occurs in the other home, you no longer have an adult to step in and tell what really happened. If your child comes home and tells you about their visit with the other parent and you find yourself fuming angry then please stop and think before you react, this could change the outcome of the situation from a unhappy one to a more positive one.

Co-Parenting

A term that refers to two parents who are no longer residing in the same household but share a child together. These two parents have equal rights to the child, and do their best to share custody and visitations in a manner that is positive for their child.

The Situation

Your child has come home from their visit with the other parent and notifies you that they just watched a movie rated beyond the level appropriate for their age group. Your child reassures you that it’s okay, but they did learn a lesson from watching this movie. The lesson your child learned was something they should know nothing about at their age, however, you move on since this is indeed a situation to talk to the co-parent not your child.

First Thoughts

At first you want to grab your child, hug them, squeeze them and never let them out of your site again. You want to call that other parent up and yell, scream, do whatever it takes to let out your frustration and anger. The thought of having such horrible scenes and life situations put inside your little child’s head makes you dizzy, almost unable to breath, you want to fight for your child’s rights to not watch movies that are rated for an older age group.

Think Before You React

Co-parenting is a hard situation to be in, especially if it’s similar to this situation where another parent has, quite frankly, the opposite parenting skills and morals you do. What you need to do as a parent, is stop and think before reacting, do not act out on your first thoughts, because in all honesty that will only make the situation worse for you child. First you must take care of your child, make sure they are okay about the scenes they saw in the movie, explain to them the movie is not real life, it’s like one of their story books, make believe and pretend play so to speak.

Once your child has been taken care of sit down and write your thoughts on a piece of paper, create a list of how this situation made you feel and what you hope the other parent can do in the future to ensure your child doesn’t see this type of movie again. If you are in a situation where you are unable to talk to other parent without conflict contact your local child or adult counselor to set up a meeting with the counselor, yourself and the co-parent.

When you think before reacting in a situation such as this one laid out, it will help create a stronger co-parenting bond between yourself and your ex which in turn will create a more positive living situation at both homes for you child.

Brandy Tanner enjoys writing and is passionate about positive co-parenting her oldest of three children with her ex boyfriend. She has been in a co-parent situation  for nearly seven years with much success. Brandy lives in NH with her husband, their two children and her oldest child. More of her writing may be found at Happily Blended.

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