Every time I meet a twin mom there is a period in the conversation that I like to call ‘trading stories’. While we often enjoy the extra questions and attention we get from friends and strangers, there a few things that really get on our nerves:
I wouldn’t want to be you!
The person in the grocery store who won’t stop saying things like, “Better you than me!” Yes, it can be hard, but you know what? In some ways it’s a LOT easier than having a singleton, or one at a time. And frankly, nothing compares to getting squeezed by four little arms. Nothing. Not even chocolate.
Cast of Thousands
The lady giving the tour of the hospital that so kindly points out to the entire birthing class that YOU, twin mom, won’t be delivering in this nice, cozy room. Oh no sweetie, you’ll be moved to an operating room with a ‘cast of thousands’. Great, Something to look forward to.
10% off is NOT a twin discount.
10% off is a sibling discount. I want a discount that makes me feel good about buying two cribs, two high chairs, four car seats (infant and convertible), and more from you. 10% off is an insult, and I’m not leaving until I talk to a manager.
Yes, this school bus of a stroller is what I have to use and while I know you are obviously very important and very rushed, if you could please hold the door open…for one…more…second. Oh never mind.
Do twins run in your family?
Not all twins are conceived with IVF or fertility drugs. If I used fertility drugs and if I’m comfortable sharing that with you, I will. Otherwise I will lie to your face when you ask us if I “had them naturally”. And if I did conceive them naturally I will be really annoyed that you assumed I used fertility drugs because that obviously means you thing I’m old.
The same can be said for delivery
Not all twins are delivered via c-section so when you ask how far apart they are and I say 15 minutes please don’t let your eyes bug out of your head. Baby B is often stuck up in a rib and it can take 15 minutes to get that baby down and out…sometimes even more.
Comparisons vs. Embracing differences
It’s hard not to compare twins. I get that. I know I’m been guilty of it. I just try not to do it while they are listening. People have said things like, “Oh, I can see this one is the troublemaker” with both girls standing right there!
My response to these people is…Really? You can see that? Because you’ve met them for all of five minutes and I have news for you. They switch it up all the time.
I don’t know if ‘regular’ siblings are assessed for their differences as much as twins. We have worked hard to help our girls embrace their differences. It’s really not about how they differ in comparison to their twin, it’s how they differ from everyone else in the world. Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And that’s a good thing.