Creating More Open Space on Your Calendar

It is so easy to fill up every moment of our day with “something.” I am amazed at how quickly I can fill all the empty space on the calendar. I am learning I need to allow more open space. I need to give my life some “margin” so I have room to breathe.

For the last few years, I have been working on a “margin theory.” This marginal concept was presented to me by a good friend. I like to call this my quest toward being a marginal woman, and by this I do not mean a woman of secondary importance…no. You remember what margins are, right? That space on notebook paper that the teacher wanted us to leave open, free, clean. She might have used our margin space to write corrections, but it was our job as students to stay in the margins. The margin left room. The margin space helped us keep our work a project that could be read and enjoyed…as opposed to messy, overwhelming and disorganized.

For years, when deciding on whether to take on a commitment or activity, I would look for the “open space” or “margin” areas on my calendar. My only filter for saying “yes” or “no” was based on the available white space. Basically, white space meant yes.

After years of packing a calendar full (eliminating all white space), my mind, body and family had enough. It got to a point where any disruption would turn our day(s) upside down. All that yes-ing gave us no room for the unplanned. So, when life called for fun spontaneity, the almighty calendar overruled. When there was a surprise illness or need in my friend-circle (like simply being able to make a meal on the fly), I found it very stressful making the time to even just throw something together.

When we fill all the margins of our lives with things and stuff and activities, we leave ourselves and our loved ones very little room. Little to no room is left for moments in life that are really the meat of life…a spontaneous run to meet a little friend and her mom at the bakery…time on the phone to encourage someone who you know could really use a call…time to throw a meal together for the family with the baby that came a week early…time to sit and read a book with your little ones…time to sit a little longer to listen…time to get well…even time to take a nap or read a book yourself!

When our days and nights are packed so tight, it is very hard to feel the freedom to just be. It is so habit to focus on doing that we forget how to be. In order to “be” we need open space…margins in our calendars. The margins do not simply exist. They are something we must work for. We need to guard that open space.

I still have to work to protect the margin I have created for my family. Its not easy to say “No”, especially when I see a need. However, not every need is my responsibility. Not all needs are your responsibility. Not every opportunity is one that needs to be taken.

People do not usually like to hear, “No.” When pressed for a reason, they like it even less when I honestly say, “We actually have nothing planned, but adding something else right now is just too much for my family.” It takes effort to be a marginal woman. However, in my experience, it is effort that has brought less chaos to my home, and has made room for the important things in life.

Related posts:

1. Space Available Lodging
2. Creating a Birth Plan
3. Gearing up for School: Creating an “Academically Stimulating” Home
4. Using Google Calendar to Organize Your Busy Mom Life
5. Creating Holiday Memories and Traditions