I recently came across an article at Redbook’s website. It’s about keeping your partner “plugged into parenting” when you’re a mom blogger. The article gives suggestions for new moms who spend a great deal of time interacting online to be sure to include their spouse in caring for the baby and how not to neglect their romantic relationship in favor of the support they receive from online friendships. This really got me to thinking about the role our partners have in regard to our blogging and their reaction to the amount of time we dedicate to our online endeavors.
Husbands Just Don’t Understand
This is obviously a play on the lyrics from the days when Will Smith was known as the Fresh Prince, but for many mom bloggers, the words ring true. When I first began blogging, I know it was difficult for my husband to see the benefit and the potential in my spending hours online without a paycheck to show for it. He didn’t understand the importance of the creative and emotional outlet blogging provided me, and he really had a hard time getting his head around the idea that I could receive such support from a group of women I had never met. He also was unable to see the networking potential an online presence can offer someone like me with career aspirations to become a freelance writer. It was a stressful time.
Talk It Out
I soon learned that I had to communicate these things to him, sometimes in great detail, again and again. I explained the concept of Twitter and Facebook, showed him my blog entries, and told him the plans I had for obtaining writing jobs online. It took a lot of repetition on my part for my husband to slowly begin to get it. If this is sounding all too familiar to you, I recommend starting with communication. Talk to your partner in terms he can understand. For example, my husband’s job is very hectic; he has a lot to do in a short amount of time. I simply told him to imagine doing his job with all three kids at his feet, a house to clean, and someone telling him not to do that job. The message hit home. He learned that my job was online and that I was trying to do that job at the same time as performing my job as a mom. He also saw that his lack of support was not helping matters.
Do Unplug Regularly
That Redbook article was right. Not only do we have to keep our husbands plugged into parenting, but we have to unplug on a regular basis in order to do that and to be certain we connect as a family. We know our children need our undivided attention away from the computer. Our partners need that as well. It may take time and tweaking, but it’s important to develop a schedule that works for you and your family. Set separate time aside each day for your online pursuits like blogging and networking and for face time with your family. Make spending time with your significant other a priority. Before long, he’ll come to understand and appreciate what blogging means to you.