Goal Setting for Children

As parents, our job focuses on preparing our children for adulthood.  One of the fundamental skills in success in life is in setting and completing goals. Its never too early to start to expose children to different kids of experiences in order to give your child more knowledge and the capability to make their own choices. If they know what’s out there, they can make educated guesses and intelligent decisions when asked what they want to pursue and aim for in their lives.

For the next few weeks this column will focus on some of the important areas of success and how children can be introduced to those concepts and how to begin to set goals to reach these areas. They include:

• finances
• health
• personal achievement
• controlling ones destiny
• organisation of self and space.

These skills are just as relevant to adults within the family as they are to the children. The sooner they learn the benefits of goal setting the more they’ll become second nature to them.

Goal setting and achievement can be taught as early as 3 years old and in some cases alot younger. Its important to differentiate between a wish and a gaol – goals are simply wishes with a plan and a deadline. Its been said that we overestimate what can be achieved in a year and under estimate what can be done in 5.  If this is true for adults – then we need to ensure time frames are broken down to very tiny, achievable chunks where progress can be measured in definite steps.

A great place to start is with your childs immediate wants and desires as a conversation. Then help them achieve it by teaching them a step by step plan; remembering to celebrate every step; culminating in the completion of their goal and the outcomes they desired from that goal. Allow your child to dream. What do they really want to do, to be, to have?

1. Expose them to a variety of experiences to fill their dream buckets. Without seeing a dance production, your future ballerina may miss her true calling; without going to a pet rescue or owning a dog, your future vet may never be drawn to their passion.
2. Do some research together on the goal or dream they have named.Collect photos, pictures and information with is relevant to achieving that goal.
3. Discuss realistic time frames and effort required to achieve their goal.
4. Make suggestions, but be as sensitive as you can to get to the child’s true interests. Its important not only to record the goal but why its important and what it will look like when its achieved. Photos or physical reminders are a strong anchor for this step.
5. Don’t take over – the motivation needs to come from them the whole way.
6. Set a definable goal which is in line with a larger goal. If your child wants to be a world famous skatestar, they need to be able to handle tricks, over a variety of environments, if they want to be a basket ball player, shooting hoops and foot work is paramount to success; if they want to be their own boss in business, exposure to small business plans (lemonade stall, selling cookies, having a stall at a fete or market) will teach them valuable skills in commerce and the entrepreneurial nature.
7. Break the goal down into small management tasks – ones that they are able to accomplish and if possible; by themselves. Most 9 year olds are mature enough to have a good sense of time and have the ability to plan ahead. Setting goals with time frames between 30 and 80 days would be reasonable for this age group. Children of 3 – 5 can start on a five day plan working towards a week, where as kids aged 6 – 8 are old enough to cope with a month plan.
8. Set up a special notebook to organise their dreams and goals. Encourage them to cut pictures out to support their focus areas, take photos and keep momentous along the way. Some families like to have dream boards in a communal space – where a cork board is placed for these items to be tacked or glued on and is a focus everyday.For older children, this notebook can serve as a diary or track reminder, recording personal bests, emotions or thoughts along their journey.
9. Set a good example by having goals you are working on with them and make family time to review goals together.
10. One of the most important steps with goal setting which most people fail to take, is to celebrate success in achieving it. Ensure a fuss is made, a special meal, outing or gift is presented in recognition of achieving a goal.
11. Hot on the back of this, set new and larger goals and start now!

By offering guidance and encouragement with setting and reaching minor and major goals; without taking over or making it an onerous take, children will build their self confidence and independence levels. Goal setting can give a child the ability to achieve, but it is up them to achieve them. They must have a confident and positive attitude towards success, as well as the motivation to act.  These are things, as a parent, we can foster and encourage within our everyday interactions with our children. There are a set of free goal setting sheets which will appeal to all age groups and can be downloaded here

Watch for the next few weeks on goal setting skills and ideas in specific areas of life skills success.

Related posts:

1. Setting Goals for 2009
2. Establishing a Home Network: Purchasing and Setting up a Wireless Router
3. How to help your children become good citizens
4. Making Goals for the New Year Instead of Resolutions
5. Take the Stress Out of Grocery Shopping with Children