Helping a Special Needs Child Who is Bullied

It’s your worst nightmare: you take your child to the park, settle in on the bench to watch from afar (to foster some independence) when a larger child shoves your child to the ground causing tears.

Or maybe your child is just called names.  Bullies.  No matter what age, they’re out there. When your child has special needs it’s especially hard to take.  While your first instinct is to unleash Mama Bear on the little darling, here’s what you need to do.

Remain Calm

Yes, this is easier said than done, but flying off the handle isn’t going to help the situation. In fact, losing your temper and yelling at the child will make it worse: you will come across as the bully.  Model the behavior you want to see in your child. Remember, he is always watching, even if it seems he isn’t “getting it.”  Under no circumstances put your hands on anyone else’s child. Ever.

Assess the Damage

Is there blood?  Take care of that first.  Just ruffled feathers? Administer hugs or whatever makes your child feel better. Talk to your child. Define what just happened.  Better yet, talk to your child before it happens. Explain what bullying is, and why it happens.

Have a Support System

There’s strength in numbers. It is much easier to victimize one child than it is two or more.  Allow your child to play with other children as much as possible.  This also fosters friendships, which will help with alienation. If he doesn’t notice or want to have company, consider social skills classes, which will go a long way towards helping him learn how to get along with his peers. This may help him stand out less in the long run.

Empower the Child

Help him with what to do. Give him words, “Please leave me alone!” or “I don’t like teasing!”  are good phrases.  If these don’t work, teach him to walk away.  If the abuse continues, teach him to find someone in charge.  And make sure he knows to always tell you.  Sadly, in this climate, school officials can sometimes turn a blind eye to special needs kids.  There is even the idea that because they are different, these kids invite bullies to pick on them, it’s just the way that it is.  Stand up against this!  You are your child’s advocate.  No child deserves to be picked on and it needs to stop.

photo copyright zzclef

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children. The two youngest children have high-functioning autism and the oldest has undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the editor of the Special Needs channel here at Typeamom. Her personal blog can be found at Send Chocolate. You can email her at sendchocolatenow@gmail.com with questions or comments.

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