Holiday Time With Co-Parent

It is that time of year, holiday season, and if you haven’t already determined how to share your children the time has come to make the decisions on how to split up the kids for the holiday. Sounds so harsh, let’s split up our children, but the reality is that many children are living in a blended family situation and must share their holidays. What works for my family is to split Thanksgiving every other year. On the even years my ex boyfriend gets our daughter for the day and I get her for dessert at end of day. This year I am going through a separation with my husband but we plan to spend the holidays together, and in the future we may share the same way I share my daughter with her father.

How to make the holiday sharing decision?

Some factors that play into holiday time with co-parents should be whether your family does a special dinner or get together during the particular holiday. For instance if your family does a big dinner every year but the other parent doesn’t then maybe it would be great for your child or children to spend that holiday with your family since the other parent doesn’t celebrate much. For instance my daughter goes to her Dad’s house every Christmas day for the whole day after she opens presents at my house because no one in my family celebrates Christmas with a family gathering. Thanksgiving is a celebration both my ex and my family celebrate and so that’s why we split Thanksgiving up the way I referenced above.

Maybe your child is old enough to determine which parent they want to spend the holiday with, if that is the case maybe the best solution would be to allow your child to decide and know that it’s not based on favoring one parent over the other. The best way to share children is to listen to what they want and if within reason allow their decision to be the choice your family chooses.

What to do when your child is with co-parent and you are alone

Don’t get all depressed when your child is having their parenting time with the ex’s family, simply make it a special day. If you are home alone with no children take time out for you. When I was a single mother of one I used to spend the day sleeping, cleaning and organizing my home while my daughter was with her father on the holidays. I found peace knowing that I didn’t have to rush around and could simply enjoy the holiday with some alone time.

If you have a long awaited book to read, for me it is Mommy Confidence, and you know I will be reading this the next holiday I have alone. Maybe you have some mopping or dusting to do that is easier to do while your child is away, get it done! You will feel so much better if you take the holiday alone time to focus on what is important to you, then when your child gets home be certain to discuss your day with them and listen to how much fun they had. Be happy that you are able to share your child in a positive way, because that means you are taking a step forward in raising a positive child.

Brandy Tanner writes daily at Happily Blended and enjoys looking to the positive of every life situation. She resides in NH with her three children and loves being a Mommy.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Bash Child’s Co-Parent
2. Holiday Gift Giving in a Blended Family
3. How To Determine Shared Holidays with CoParent
4. Step Parent Favoring Biological Children
5. Holiday Guilt