How to Talk with Your Children About Stranger Safety

Last weekend, I attended a workshop on Stranger Safety for Children which made me realize how vulnerable our children can be. It also made me realize that we as parents cannot be with them all the time to protect them. We need to provide them with the tools they need to keep themselves safe, make them confident enough to say “no” and cry “help!” and we need to keep communication open to show them they can trust us. Easier said than done, right?

Unfortunately, it is. But, if you start to educate and talk to your child now, it will be easier for you and your child will be more ready for any situation, should it arise.

Create a Foundation

Tell your child how much they mean to you. This will reinforce the reasons why they need to listen to you and follow the rules of stranger safety you set up. Build that connection of love and remind them daily how much you love them. You don’t need to scare them about “danger” yet. Just make them understand that you want to keep them safe.

Build your child’s self-esteem. When you tell your child how much he/she means to you, it also builds their self-confidence which will ensure that they listen to their own intuition, if needed, when faced with dangerous or threatening circumstances. Kids tend to believe that they deserve whatever they are experiencing, unless you tell them otherwise. So, tell them that they do NOT deserve to be hurt, scared or touched by others.

Talk first about good people, before telling them about bad people. This helps them understand that most people are good. And, it is important that they feel there are good strangers too. If they are lost and looking for someone to help them, they will be very scared and hesitant to do so if they believe all strangers are bad. Although it wasn’t in the workshop, a friend mentioned to me that she has heard it is good to tell your child to “look for a mommy/woman” for help, since they will most often be more sympathetic. I agree.

Talk about behaviors of bad people. This helps your child understand the difference between a bad and good person. Good people care about you and finding your mom or helping you without making you scared. Bad people hurt others and try to scare you and keep secrets. This will help differentiate without giving labels to people. A person isn’t bad simply because they look shabby and a person isn’t necessarily good because they look and smell nice.

Key Tools for Your Children’s Safety

The rule should be “always check with parents first”. If your child is asked to “go see a new puppy” or “get candy”, you child should always say that they must ask their mom and dad first. Not only does this rule ensure you are kept “in the loop” when anyone approaches your child with an enticement, but it also gives your child the right to say “no” to an adult.

Help your child to verbalize when they feel threatened. Many children don’t feel comfortable saying “no” to adults. You need to make sure that your child understands that it is ok to yell, kick and scream if they feel threatened. They will not get in trouble, even if they are mistaken. They need to learn to build their intuition without worry about punishment from mom and dad. Key words: YOU ARE NOT MY MOM! YOU ARE NOT MY DAD! HELP! This will definitely get the attention of an good Samaritans.

Start to get your child aware of his/her surroundings. This is important for them so they don’t put themselves in a potentially bad situation like walking through an alley as a shortcut to get home from school. It also hones their ability to identify any details to an incident, which could help catch any predators.

Make sure there is a family password. This saved a child within the year in our local area. What is a family password? A word that only the family and close friends know will ensure that no one can try to lure your child with lines like “Your mom is in the hospital and she wanted me to get you to see her.” It is scary to think that there are people who would prey on innocent children in such emotional ways, but unfortunately, they do. Get a family password today!

Remind your child about the buddy system. This rule still holds. Most predators would rather prey on a child that was alone – less complicated. So, remind your child to walk with a friend, if they need to walk without you. And, play with a friend on the bars after school before soccer practice.

Role play with your child. It will take many session of role playing before they react to keep themselves out of danger. So, start now! With each dress rehersal, you are ensuring there will not be an opening day.

Start talking to your child now. But, don’t scare them. The world is wonderful. Unfortunately, there are bad people in it. But, if you communicate with them now, discuss situations as you hear of them in the news and role play, you are keeping your child safer and you will be happier!

About the Author:

Lisa Hallas is a Type-A Mom Editor. She has 2 wonderful girls and is always on the look-out for more information on parenting and raising children in today’s world. She currently works part-time as a community relations manager and has her own blog for busy moms.

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