Missing College Students

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It seems that every day the news has a new report of another child who is missing. I often spend my morning coffee time reading the headlines on MSN, and start my day out in tears.

So I made it through the young years with both of my children intact and nothing too devastating altering our lives. We have been one of the lucky ones. It’s never too late for something bad to happen; and that includes having our adult children swiped from us. 

With my daughter being away at college an hour and a half away, I have became more aware and disturbed by all of the stories in the news concerning missing college students.

When Does One Become Alert an Adult is Missing?

In years past if an adult became missing, twenty-four hours had to pass before a police report could be made. In some states this law has been changed, in others I am not sure.  In many cases a young adult could be missing for a day or two before anyone may realize they are in fact missing. Friends call, parents call but each assumes they are busy, sleeping, etc. Only later to realize others have not heard from them either. Then a puzzle must be put together to determine when and where the person was last seen.The sad truth is many any young adults mysteriously disappear each year.  Some are found and others are not. Most of those found are not found alive.

College Age Girls Most Recently In the News

At first only a few girls came to mind. Girls like Natalie Holloway, who disappeared in 2005, during a trip to Aruba.

Morgan Harrington most recently became missing after being separated from her friends at a Metallica concert in Charlottesville. Morgan was a student at Virginia Tech and has not been seen since.

I feel I must also mention the three Dickinson State University softball players were found just last week, in a North Dakota pond still in their vehicle. Kyrstin Gemar, 22, Ashley Newfeld, 21, and Afton Williamson, 20, are believed to have driven off into the pond in the dark.

There Are Many More

When researching articles about the girl stated above I found that it is much worse than I even knew. I made a list of 28 and there are many more. Out of the 28 names that I wrote down surprisingly 21 of them were male.  All college students.

Other Common Traits

Of the 21 male students I read about all of those whose bodies have been recovered were found in bodies of water. Most had been last seen partying with friends at local bars within blocks of their dorms and campuses. They were all between the ages of 18 and 23 except one 27 year old med student. Witness and friends who last saw these boys stated that while alcohol was involved, most of these students did not seem to be so intoxicated that they were use judgment so  poor as to take a swim in a lake by themselves at night. In all of these cases there was no good explanation or evidence as to how these boys ended up in the lakes or rivers. Cause of death in all – drowning.

Look for the Evil Smiley Face

Another similarity in many of these cases that should be mentioned is graffiti. Not just any graffiti, but one certain smiley face painted near were several of the victims were found. Authorities have no evidence as to what this smiley face means, but it is worth being aware of.  I am not going to rewrite the article that I got so much of my information from, but you may want read it yourself http://www.vanceholmes.com/court/trial_missing.html. Note that there are other articles that back these stories up.

Never too Cautious

The main point I want to make is that it is never too late to warn our children. I know they think we are crazy, but in this day and time there are too many people out crazier than we are. I warn my daughter to never to out alone at night. Be aware of her surroundings, not to speak to strange men, not to be naïve, even to those who may seem to need help.

My son, I worry about him driving too fast, being a victim to drugs or alcohol, being mislead by girls who are younger than him, or pissing off a dad. Before now I would not have been concerned enough to warn him about the first set of rules.

We love our kids just as much as young adults as we do as babies. But we lose that control that we once had. I find myself worrying all the time that I forgot something important; that I have left out one life lesson that they are going to need. I have found that when they move out they do things like wash clothes, cook and pick up after their selves much more than they did at home. But; along with the responsibility comes independence. They don’t want us telling them what to do, but we still have to remind them of safety.

The World is a Cruel Uncaring Place

Here is a list of reminders that I have made. Feel free to add anything I have forgotten and post it at the end of this article for others to see.  Copy and paste it; print it off; give it to them to read; put it on their refrigerator or their dash board.

• But most of all pray of them and their friends and their safety each day and night
• Always travel in groups never alone especially at night
• Check you gas hand, and stop and get gas before you actually need it
• Tell me if your car is not running right, if you can’t afford to fix it someone will
• Never go anywhere with someone you have just met
•  Never invite someone to your home or dorm that you don’t know
• Tell your roommates that you expect the same from them
• Keep in close contact at all times with a close friend, let them know where you are
    and where you are going
• Make sure someone knows when to expect you home, and if you are going to be late
• Always have your cell phone and keep it charged

Now for the hard stuff…….

Bar Rules

•  Keep up with how much you drink
• Beware of someone else who insists on buying you drinks
    especially if you don’t know them
• Always watch your drink; there are people who will put drugs, pills etc. in your drink
• Beware, while bars are there to make money, there are bartenders who will over pour just to be
    nice. If it has more than one ounce of liquor, it counts as two drinks
• Keep an extra twenty stashed in your wallet to call a cab
• Never accept a ride with someone who has had too much to drink or that you don’t know
• If you think it is time to go, ask a friend to go also, don’t go out on the streets alone
• At the same time, don’t let your friends leave alone, call it a night and go with them
• Never drink until it is out of control

Remember: Even if you are doing things I won’t approve of, I still love you. God forgives and so do I – always walk with both of us in your heart.

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