Positive Body Images for You and Your Children

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In today’s world images are everywhere; some good…some bad…some that make you want to scream “Eat Something!” As women we spend a good portion of our lives trying to figure out if our butts look fat.

I have two children, my body is far from perfect. I clearly remember the day I decided I didn’t want to perpetuate negative body images onto my children but made a conscience decision to change how I presented why I ate healthy, exercised, and walked when I could.

I wanted to celebrate my body for what it had acheived and how it works hard for me everyday and to do that I had to rethink my answers to questions like Why do you need to exercise? and Why can’t we drive to school?” The following are some of the ways I altered my responses in order to foster healthy body images for myself and my children.

Why do you need to exercise?

Your children think you look great, they could care less about a few extra pounds as a matter of fact to them its like having a built in pillow when they need a nap. I used to answer this question with the standard “to be skinny”…and when my then 5 year old daughter who was in kindergarden came to me and said she wanted a flat stomach, I wanted to scream what have I done? I minored in Women’s Studies in college. I protested the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. I should have known better.

But I was also a woman who had two children and wanted my prebaby body back but as a mom I began to reflect on my responses and recognize that I couldn’t control the outside world as much as I would like but I could as one of the most important people in my chidlren’s lives control my answers and responses. I changed my standard answer from the desire to be thin to “Doing exercise helps me to release tension and better manage my feelings througout the day. In other words exercise helps mommy to not get angry when things don’t go the way she expects them to.”

Walk again? Why can’t we just drive like everyone else?

This is a common theme in my house and unless it pouring buckets on our heads we walk to school. There were two main reasons I always want to walk; the first the “drop off line” in front of the school appeared to me like road rage just waiting to happen. The fact that our town has assigned a police officer really says it all.

But my underlying reason and not that this is terrible but because I wanted to work in as much exercise into my day as possible trying to get those 10,000 steps in wherever I could. There is nothing wrong with that reason except, when the rationale for exercise is to again either get or stay thin.

Now when I am answer the inevitable every morning I say its to clear our heads for the new information we are learning. Taking in the fresh crisp morning air prepares our brains to be open to new ideas and to start the day new.

You want me to eat what?

Getting your children to eat healthy is one of those trials we suffer as moms. I try to follow a 60/40 rule. 60% good stuff and 40% not as good as I would like. So now when helping my children learn to make good food decisions I talk about food as an energy source. Healthier choices like fruits and vegetables will give you the nutrition you need to do the things you enjoy doing; riding bikes, playing on the playground or hanging with friends.

Deciding to eat the candy or chips may give you a burst of energy but in the long run its harder for your body to digest it and all your energy goes to breaking it down and getting rid of it. Sweet or salty foods may also taste good in the moment but often leave a bad taste in your mouth. I try to avoid the whole its got a lot of fat or its high in empty calories or even labeling things as good or bad. The bad, no matter what it is, will always come across as more appealing.

Making these simple changes in my language and explanations has changed how I feel about my own body as well. I no longer look at my protruding stomach as something to sweat and work off. A woman’s body was not meant to be flat, I know now its my uterus and it is to be celebrated.

My body birthed two children, its taken me to third world countries and helped those less fortunate during long 14 hour shifts, its strong, healthy, and beautiful and when I talk about it with my kids I choose words and explanations that don’t always make it about the how a body looks but about why eating healthy and exercising will help us all be able to particpate in the activites we enjoy. I want my kids to feel good about themselves and helping them do that means being a role model, making healthy lifestyle in order to look and feel better.

Genevieve Lowry is a mother of two, she runs guided imagery workshops and Reiki (energy medicince) classes for families.  You can find out more about her at both her website and her blog.

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