Pre-Baby Expectations – Letting Go to Stay Sane

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“I’m never going to co-sleep!”
“No pacifiers for us!”
“I’m going to breastfeed at least until my baby is 2.”
“I’ll only feed my baby organic non processed foods.”
“I’m going to use cloth diapers!”
“No TV for my kids!”

Before you have kids you tend to have big plans. You think you know what you’re going to do, when you’re going to do it, and exactly how it’s going to turn out. You tend to be pretty cocky, pre-kid. You’ve done the research, you’ve made the choices, and you’re pretty confident about your parenting decisions.

Then they hand you that tiny squalling new baby, and if you’re lucky, you realize that sanity lies in throwing all those plans out the window and letting go of all your expectations. Parenting harbors so many uncertainties, things you couldn’t have foreseen even if you’d done years of research; holding on to all your plans is unrealistic and might signal your downfall.

You might have your heart set on breastfeeding and have a tongue tied baby and low milk production. You might be averse to cloth diapers, but have a baby who is allergic to disposables. You might have a baby you has a huge need to suck, suck, suck, pushing you to try the pacifier you’d sworn you wouldn’t use, just so you can free up your pinkie an hour or two every day. Maybe TV is the only thing that calms your child long enough for you to take a shower. And maybe you’ll want to co-sleep, but your baby will grunt so much that you’ll banish him to his room. There’s just no way to know what will make your child tick and how you’ll react in the face of a real live situation as opposed to the hypotheticals you were dealing with before.

I wish I could tell you that formulating a plan before the baby is born will make everything easy when your baby arrives, but truthfully, all those plans might backfire. Educating yourself is a great way to prepare yourself for anything that might happen, but be ready to let go of any pre-baby expectations you might have had. Being unwilling to sway from your charted course might make it impossible for you to do what is actually best for you and your baby.

Parenting is one journey where it’s best to pack your bags, grab the guidebook, but wait until you arrive to figure out meals and accommodations. Trust your instincts to make decisions when the need arises and be sure to enjoy the ride!

Photo from the private files of Jessica Rosenberg.

Jessica Rosenberg is an aspiring novelist and freelance writer who blogs daily at It’s My Life… and posts frequent reviews at The Lemonade Stand.

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