Scrapbooking Your Grief

If you have read my articles or my personal blog, you know that I love to scrapbook. I originally started collecting scrapbook supplies when I was pregnant with my older son, Nicholas. My friend had done a book each for her daughters and I loved the idea, so she got me started with some basic supplies. And then being pregnant sort of took over everything, and then having a newborn took over anything that was left. Despite gathering supplies, I didn’t really start to scrapbook until after Mark died.

A small part of the reason I started scrapping after Mark died was because I was trying to hard to keep my mind occupied after Nicholas fell asleep and I was alone in our apartment. There are only so many people you can call in the middle of the night before they fall asleep on you. The biggest reason I started scrapping after Mark died was because I was scared I would forget him. I latched on to scrapbooking as a way to “save” Mark for Nicholas.

That is one of the reasons I was so intrigued when I read about the Good Grief Blog recently. The purpose of the blog is “a scrapbooking journey through loss and healing.” If you scrapbook or have ever seen someone else’s scrapbooks, you know how effectively the craft captures stories and memories. If you scrap like I do, the journalling or storytelling part of the process often comes before the corresponding photos. To me, the memories are best captured through the journalling, and writing has always been my best therapy.

The layouts on the Good Grief Blog are beautiful and the stories are touching. Amanda Probst started the Good Grief Blog after her father died in a farming accident. I recently talked with Amanda about scrapping, grief and her blog.

Sherry Carr-Smith: Why did you start the Good Grief Blog?

Amanda Probst: I started the Good Grief Blog for two reasons. First, it helps me. I’m one of those people who really benefits from deadlines, so challenges are awesome motivation. Through the challenges on the blog, I hope to continue to push myself to scrapbook about my dad and am stoked that I’ll get to share that journey with others…and be inspired by the fabulous contributors there.

My second reason for starting the Good Grief Blog is that I truly believe that this is what my dad would want. He’d want me to live my life and remember him in this way, not dwell on what could have been. I feel like this is his message that he wants me to share, and I’ve always trusted my dad.

SCS: Why do you think scrapbooking helps with grief?

AP: I think that grief is such a very personal thing. For me, though, scrapbooking is a therapeutic outlet for my grief. Through it, I can work through things I especially miss, things I wish could be different, things I want to remember. I am also able to document and celebrate my dad’s life so that my sons won’t completely miss out on knowing their Papa. Basically, it gives me the power to actually “do” something rather than just dwell on my sadness.

SCS: How do you suggest people capture memories?

AP: I suggest people capture memories in whatever way works best for them. That’s kinda the point. It has to work for you, not for everyone else. I’d also suggest taking it one memory at a time. It’s easy to become overwhelmed and I know many people steer away from scrapbooking about lost loved ones for that very reason. By taking it one memory at a time, though, it all seems more doable. For me, taking it slowly like this actually makes me feel like my dad is still with me for even longer as I continue to tell his story. It’s not something I’m in a hurry to “finish” because then his story would be done, if that makes any sense.

SCS: Do you see people scrapbook about the moment of a loved one’s passing?

AP: This isn’t one of the topics we’ve covered as of yet on the Good Grief Blog, though I can envision it being a strong challenge. This one, in particular, would be a very emotional layout…one that not every one is willing to face just yet.

SCS: Anything else you think would be helpful to encourage widowed parents to capture memories either through scrapbooking or other means?

AP: Mostly, through the blog, I’ve found that so many women write to me to thank me for one of two things…showing them that they’re not alone and/or showing them that scrapbooking about loss can actually make them feel reconnected with that lost loved one. More than anything, I truly believe that sharing your loved one’s story is one of the best ways to keep his/her spirit alive.

Looking through the Good Grief Blog has encouraged me to work more on Mark’s story in scrapbook form. There are several pages in Nicholas’ first book about Mark, unfortunately, those are the only photos we have of them together. The challenges Amanda’s blog poses will help me find ways I can talk about Mark for Nicholas and save pieces of him for both of us.

I hope you all take a moment to look at the Good Grief Blog and possibly take up the challenge of scrapping (or writing or painting) about your lost one.

Related posts:

1. Tips to Help Your Child Express Grief
2. 5 Tips to Aid Siblings with Grief
3. Grief
4. Grieving Your Spouse: Aren’t You Done Yet?
5. Scrapbooking in the NICU – Another Creative Way to Cope