A subject that comes up all too often is the fact that some step parents seem to be more compassionate towards their own biological children and not as compassionate towards their step children. A step parent usually comes into the relationship knowing that they will become Mom or Dad to their partners children the day they get married, however, when that day comes it may be hard for the step parent to not continue to favor their own biological children over their step children.

Treating all children equally is hard to do, even as a biological parent it’s often natural to favor one child over the other. A step parent may seem more favorable towards his or her own children without realizing what they are doing. The act of favoring a particular child over another is not always an intentional situation. Parents hold their first born closer to their heart and often are more strict with their first born. The last born child is often considered spoiled and will normally be allowed more privileges than the first born. 

A step parent really needs to be aware of the indifferent way they treat their step child versus their own children. When two people come together to unite in marriage bringing children into the relationship, then they should have a sit down regarding rules, discipline techniques and other areas pertaining to taking care of the children. When two people, who are parents, are in the process of planning to blend their families as one, they must go over all details of what they will expect from each other and how each one can blend their parenting styles in a way that will benefit all children who will be living in their new home together.

Blending families together is a tough situation to be in, especially if the person has partnered with a parent who does not believe in the same discipline techniques and parenting styles. People can not always plan who they fall in love with, however, they must plan how they will blend their lives together this is especially important when children are involved. Children take a life change very dramatically, often blaming themselves. The first year of being a step parent may put this person through a lot of tests and tribulations, but if the couple comes together to discuss expectations regarding the children early on in the relationship then the transition from one home to a blended home should be easier on the family as a whole.


Brandy Tanner is a work at home mommy blogger and virtual assistant who shares a NH home with her husband, their two boys and her first born daughter.