Stepchild Bonding with Grandparent and Grandchild

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Each day, as my grandson grows, the bond between us grows as well, and as it does, it amazes me all the more. When he was first talking, I absolutely loved it when I would walk in the room and he would exclaim with all the enthusiasm, “Hi Nana!”. Melted my heart every time and still does. What amazes me even more, however, is his relationship with “Papa Jeff”, my husband.

Jeff is not the father of my children and my children see their father regularly. However, E-dude (as we often call my grandson) and Jeff have created a very special bond, even closer than mine and his. Am I jealous? No, I think it’s so awesome the way Jeff has stepped in, not only as an amazing step dad, but as “Papa Jeff”. (I won’t even put “step” in front that!). 

Let me give you a little background history of Papa Jeff. When Jeff and I were married, he was entering his first marriage at the age of 39. He’s never had children of his own. What an adjustment right? Hang on, there’s more: A month after we were married, my oldest daughter (mom to E-dude) got married. Three months after that, they were pregnant. So, within the first year of our marriage, almost, Jeff became Dad to 4 kids and a grandpa! I must say, he’s handled it all so very well. 

Building the Grandparent and Step-Grandchild Relationship

Back to E-dude and Papa Jeff’s relationship: Why has this amazing relationship developed between the two of them? I think it’s because Jeff takes the time and makes the effort to spend time with him. Whenever they come to our house or we go to theirs, Jeff gives E-dude his undivided attention. Jeff is the one that will play with him or watch one of his favorite DVD’s with him, while the rest of us are playing cards or a board game. Jeff is the one that will take him upstairs to open and close the “door” (a box frame with Jeff’s military medals in it that has a clear glass door) a hundred times. 

Last night when they were over, Jeff was at music practice for church. Every time the front door opened or closed, E-dude would run and say “Papa Jeff is here”! He was okay when he discovered it wasn’t, but when Jeff actually did walk in the door, E-dude’s face lit up like a Christmas Tree! Jeff immediately scooped him up into his arms and they snuggled for a minute. The next words out of E-dude’s mouth were “Go open the door”, which means he wanted to go play with that frame of medals. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, E-dude loves his Nana too, and we have our special bond that’s like no other, but there’s no relationship like E-dude’s and Papa Jeff’s. 

Creating that special bond between a grandparent and a grandchild doesn’t take a whole lot of effort. When God created the family, He created that special connection in each of us. Some take a little more nurturing than others and every family situation is different, I understand that. My brother’s kids and my mom have a totally different relationship style than I have with E-dude and my younger grandson who is 6 months old. This is because my brother has lived with our mom for several years and there is a lot of dysfunction in that household. Our mom has practically raised my nephews herself, so she is viewed more like a mom by them than a grandma sometimes. But, there is still that grandmother/grandson bond with each of them that she maintains, and you can too, no matter what your situation.  

Simply start by spending one on one time with your grandchild. Even if it’s only 15 minutes to start. Build on that time each time they are with you. If you have more than one grandchild, alternate time with each of them in equal parts. Slowly, that natural bond will begin to connect you together and you will have an amazing relationship like E-dude and Papa Jeff.

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