Life a single moms can be both challenging and rewarding. The perspective you take throughout this journey will determine if your days are filled with sadness or joy. Here are a few tips to make the trip a peaceful one and hopefully motivate you to be successful in this role.
Here are some secrets of success as a single mother.
Learn from mistakes
What good are mistakes if you don’t learn from them? They are bound to come up again if you don’t correct the problem the first time. There are some things that are hard to grasp the first time around and we may not even realize that it is a problem, but if it comes around over and over again you should recognize that something is probably wrong somewhere. Learning and growing is a never-ending process so get a clue as soon as possible and save yourself a lot of aggravation.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Even though you make mistakes don’t be too hard on yourself. Being human means that you won’t be perfect so accept it and move on. You will be much happier and you will give your self-esteem a positive break.
Forgive yourself
It is okay to ask God to forgive you or to ask others to forgive you, but it is more important that you forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself gives you freedom from guilt and pain and it helps you move on with life in a positive way. You can be your own worst enemy so forgive yourself and choose to be happy with your decision and the rest of your life.
Follow your own path
There is a certain path that everyone must take for himself or herself. Following someone else’s path for your life can lead you down a long road full of sorrows. Pray for guidance in finding your own path and believe that God is directing you. When you find yourself taking a detour, have the courage to stop, turn around, and get back on your true path.
Resolve personal issues one at a time
There are some things in life that need specialized attention and resolving past issues is one of them. If you try to tackle more than one issue at a time, you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and even depressed because you can’t see progress.
Make time for hobbies
Hobbies are meant to be enjoyed. They give you pleasure so set aside some time to do the things that make you happy. All work and no play make life much too stressful.
Enjoy your kids
They are only young once so enjoy them now. Getting down to their level physically is so important to them and to you. Listen to their joys and pains. Play games with them. Tickle them no matter how old they think they are. Touch is an amazing healer and bonding agent. They can never get enough of your touch.
Cherish your bathroom time
That may be the only alone time you get. Lavish yourself with wonderful smelling fragrances, body wash, and candles. Bubbles and body scrubs all make you feel like a pampered princess. Add some music and be prepared to float away to a better place (at least for 15 minutes).
Avoid Super Mom Syndrome
There is so much to get done and only one of you to do it. As much as you would like to get everything and make sure that everything is perfect, don’t burn yourself out trying to get it all done. The most important job you have is to take care of your child and yourself. Ways to avoid the super mom syndrome is to ask for help, set priorities, relax certain standards in regards to housekeeping, saying yes to everyone, etc. Get help in meals by having someone cook for you, make casseroles, and have leftovers often.
Maintain a relationship with God
This last, but most important tip, is the primary key to success as a single mother. Talking to God through prayer is one way to build a relationship with God. Speak to Him just as you talk to a close friend. It helps keep Him real in your mind. You can discuss problems and concerns with Him while you are driving along, standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes, and cooking or cleaning. You can even talk to Him while you shower, which may actually be the best time of day for you.
Reading the bible is another way to build your relationship with God. Simple verses in Psalms and Proverbs are favorites and require only a few minutes of your time. You will soon find that the words written there are your words. You will receive hope and encouragement especially when you are going through a particularly hard time. Read the bible and stay connected to God, your ultimate friend and provider.
If you decide to take up the challenge of being a successful single mother, you will soon find that your life has changed dramatically. The only person who can determine the outcome in you life is you. Trust that, by following the process of self improvement and success, you will come out ahead in life. It is the best example that you can set for your precious children.
Samantha Gregory is a native of Atlanta, GA. She is a single mother to two awesome kids. The experience compelled her to begin journaling about her life, which lead to writing the book. Samantha does freelance writing, editing, and graphic design and has two blogs, http://www.richsinglemomma.blogspot.com and http://www.singlemomsrock.org
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