Surviving Deployment 101

Deployments are inevitable. They are a way of life for us military wives and with time they get easier and – dare I say – better. The key is in how you prepare for a deployment. Going into it with positive light will make it fly by. Dreading the day it comes all the way through the six months to a year and six months will cause strain on the relationship, the kids, and yourself. Choose to be positive and gradually build the confidence to know you will survive.

The Few Days Before Deployment

The days leading up to a deployment are stressful. If you are stressed, your children will pick up on it and may act out. If you find yourself overly sensitive, take the kids out to a park, order a pizza so you don’t have to cook, and get away from the house for a bit. There is nothing wrong with escaping the house to regroup, and is perfectly normal in our sub-culture of society. Knowing how to emotionally prepare for deployment will get you ready for the adventure and strong to endure the fight.

The Day of Deployment

For many of us, this involves taking our guys to an air terminal and waiting out a plane that 9 times out of 10 will be late. For some it is just dropping our husbands off and driving off as if nothing is wrong. It is important that we let our feelings out in some way or another. They’re going to come out anyways, so its better to plan a time to cry, scream, frantically clean, or take our frustrations out in the gym. Whatever it is, do it on the day of deployment and don’t get in a slump. Its important to get off on the right foot.

The First Week of Deployment

Before this time hits, make plans to go out with friends, take the kids on a day trip, go camping or take a walk on the beach. If you have little kids that arent in school yet, find a local baby gym and go everyday. Take the kids to the park. Find things to do that they wouldn’t normally do and expend all of your energy. This is usually the most difficult time, and the way you spend that first week will be a stepping stone for how the rest of deployment will go. Stay busy, stay positive, and stay focused.

The Halfway Point

The middle of deployment, or the hump point, should be celebrated with friends and family. Most commands have a “Hump Party” signaling the deployment is over the hump and going downhill towards homecoming. Make it a priority to attend the Hump Party. If the command is small or unorganized, throw your own party with your friends at home or go out to dinner. It is a milestone that should be celebrated whether this is your first or fifteenth deployment.

Preparing for Homecoming

This is the time to start thinking about when your spouse gets home. Make a list of special foods he likes in the house. Stock up the bathroom with his favorite toiletries, razors, shampoo, body wash etc. Try to make sure that everything is as he left it. Those who return home from combat or any deployment need to come back their home as they left it. Studies show that this will ease your spouse back into the family. If you are planning on buying furniture, wait until your husband gets home to do so. Out of all the military men I’ve known, they’ve all said the same thing: they want to come home to “their” home. As much as you want to change things and protest that the house is yours (because it basically is), it is part of being a wife to make adjustments and balance regular home life with the transitional home life that the military demands.

Homecoming

Take a hot bath the night before and a hot shower the morning of. Get yourself dolled up and the kids in their best outfits. Decide whether or not you want running shoes to run across the tarmac, or heels to look your best while waiting at an air terminal. Its time for you to welcome home your loved one. This is the best part of being in the military, and will always make the long waits well worth it.

Congratulations for surviving, and may you have the strength to survive them all. If you feel like you need to talk to someone before, during, or after a deployment, contact your Family Readiness Group, Ombudsman, or MilitaryOneSource. There is always somebody ready to take your call and listen. Even if its just to talk about a bad day. Remember you are not alone. Military wives support each other, no matter what. You aren’t the first wife whose husband is deploying, and you won’t be the last. Learn from those that went before you, and teach those that follow behind.

Related posts:

1. How to Create a Deployment Countdown
2. How to Emotionally Prepare for Deployment
3. Deployment Survival Tips for Working Military Moms
4. Holiday Deployment Survival Tips for Military Moms
5. My First Deployment