Toddler Independence vs. Mommy Timelines

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If you’ve spent any time around a toddler then you know that this is a time in which these little people begin to assert themselves as independent beings. As the mother of a toddler you also know that the moments that they choose to exert their independence are usually the exact times when you are on a timeline. How can you help your toddler to assert his independence even when you’re rushed?

The development of independence is important for toddlers. They not only learn to differentiate themselves from others, but they are also learning new skills and problem solving as they acquire them. Many times your toddler doesn’t want Mommy to make it easier to do tasks, or even show him how to do it. He wants to figure it out by himself. The problem is, when you are on a timeline to get to an appointment or just to move on to the next thing on your To-Do list, you may not have the time to wait for your toddler to achieve a new skill at his own pace.

If you can anticipate opportunities for independence, then you may be able to redirect his attentions when you are up against time limitations, and still provide him with the chance to learn and perform new skills. The following are some typical busy times and tips for fostering independence in your toddler:

In The Morning

In the morning, while you are getting ready, have an extra toothbrush and hairbrush for your toddler. Sure, he may chew on the toothbrush and brush his hair forward—on just one side–, but once he’s done he’ll be more likely to let you “fix” it or “help” finish the job. Let your toddler pick out his clothes. Unless you are having formal photos taken that day, it doesn’t really matter what your toddler wears, and more than one child has worn cowboy boots, shorts and a Superman cape to the store. Give him the chance to dress himself if you have the time.

At The Store

Let your toddler be mommy’s helper. Enlist him to help you look for items, load them in the cart or carry them for you. Let your toddler hand the money to the cashier and take the receipt. On the way to the car let him carry a lighter bag for you.

Meal Times

Offer your toddler a bowl and a spoon to stir a small amount of milk or colored water. Let him rinse dishes for you as you cook or put silverware on the table. Give your toddler the chance to serve himself. Mashed potatoes are a food that are fairly easy for a toddler to serve, and as a bonus, he’ll be more likely to eat something that he’s put on his own plate. Each of these duties takes time, which will allow you the time you need to prepare dinner.

Any time you are rushed just think ahead for a skill that your toddler can do which will both help encourage independence and help meet your timeline.

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